Tuesday June 18, 2024

Goodnight friends! A little cooler and more cloudy, though the slow squeeze of humidity persists. The blue of the sky is paler, seen through smaller shifting gaps. Grasses growing paler too, drying out gradually into straw colours, seedheads high enough to reach my ears swelling taut, shiny silver and green.

The dusty tickle in my throat became a mild rasp, a dull, slightly feverish headache coming and going, and a deep plodding lethargy. Either a (hopefully mild) cold-type virus or a some kind of minor relapse, since they often come with glandular fever-like symptoms for me – these kind of hauntings by the memory of the initial infection that scorched through your immune system aren’t uncommon in the lore of ME/CFS. I had hoped it would feel harmless enough to push through a little and go to judo, but I felt like I couldn’t ignore the possibility of being contagious, as well as of tipping the balance towards full burnout.

May we find patient steadiness and equanimity today!