Goodnight friends! Still a shackling malaise and heaviness clinging to me, and the vague forebodings of helplessness, fear, grief that come with it. I’m able to deal with it differently recently, by drawing – not expressively which has always been a struggle for me, but simply as an occupation that fills my mind, displacing ruminations and diffusing my annoyance with my physical limitations.
Humid and heavy, around 20°c but for most of the day the feeling was almost as overbearing and stifling as if it were another 10° warmer. I finally felt a little energy come into me around 8pm, when the sky started to lighten and open a little, the cherry red coals of sunset sparking and guttering behind dark trees. Sunset bloomed like roses on the reservoir, and by fortunate chance as a fingernail moon shone among the clouds I saw at last the evening primroses in full gloaming flower, their scent cool and sweet and subtle.
May we allow ourselves, gently without clenched grasping or resistance, to think our thoughts and feel our feelings today!
